I remember sitting in class in 4th grade when we were about to take personality tests that would give us the best fit of jobs for our personalities. I felt nervous before taking the test as if that was it. This was going to be the moment that I find out what I’m meant to do. I so badly wanted to have professional athlete as my job. I expressed my hopes to our counselor and she so (un)kindly told me that was only offered for one personality type and people never got it. When our results came in I was ecstatic to see professional athlete as a job option! Our school counselor was not as thrilled. At that moment, I began to plan my life. I thought, "I want to be a professional basketball player and my personality test says I can!" Then, as most kids do, I mapped out the details of life I had deemed important. I decided that I would be married at 22 and have kids at 25. That was my plan and it sounded like a perfect one. I loved plans and goals then and I still do now. But often our plans for our lives and God’s plans for our lives differ as do our timelines.
Fast forward many years and I had to medically retire from basketball at 18, I ran track in college and one year post-collegiately, I’m currently 27 while still in school getting my Ph.D., I'm working as a teaching and research graduate assistant, not married, and have no kids in sight unless I’m babysitting. I’ve passed my self-imposed timeline and life looks nothing like how I had planned. And although my life is different than I had imagined, I’m so glad it is. God rocked my world and even though I faced many trials and heartache, His will has been so much better and so much sweeter than I could have ever imagined or planned for. However, I still struggle.
When worry sets in, believing lies that I’m “behind” or not where I’m supposed to be, it brings great comfort knowing that God is always on time. We can’t miss what He has for us. I’m not big enough, strong enough, or powerful enough to do that, and respectfully, neither are you.
When I reflect on the life I have versus the life I planned, what I have has been filled with so much joy, so many experiences, and so much refinement. I had the best time of my life running track and met my best friends doing so! Had my plan to play basketball collegiately or professionally come true, I would have been miserable finding identity and purpose in sport. God sweetly broke me so I could fully surrender to Him. My purpose wasn’t to be an athlete. God is so much bigger than sport. My purpose was to use sport as a way to share His grace and goodness through the ups and downs. This led me to have the freedom to compete for Him and fervently pursue God while utilizing sport as an opportunity to share the Gospel not fill a void of identity that only Christ can fill. This is true of every avenue we strive towards.
I planned to be out of school and only working full-time by now, but I love my job and school! What I'm learning is so much fun and is preparing me for my new career aspirations while also so incredibly passionate about teaching and research and these unexpected routes. My plan also thought I would be married with kids by this time. However, that would be exceedingly challenging to do all that I’m doing right now while having those things. I’m not saying it would be impossible, but what I have during this phase of life is exactly what I need. Although I desire marriage, I aim to take full advantage of laboring for Christ even in the waiting.
Many people who have full-time careers, spouses, kids, and all of the “timeline things” feel pressure too. Just because you have these things doesn’t always mean that you feel you have achieved everything in life, or that you lose the ability to dream, and don't have other goals. You might attain all of those things and still be feeling that you're not where you thought you would be. Or maybe none of those things are on your life goal list right now and maybe never will be. Perhaps you have varying career aspirations, goals, hopes, whatever it might be and it just hasn’t happened yet. We are all together in dreaming and striving and we can meet others with great compassion even if our plans and times look different from one another.
I want to experience every season of life to the fullest. We can take heart knowing if we're walking through a season of trial that we can be refined and strengthened through Christ. We can also express gratitude through seasons of bliss. Ecclesiastes 3 declares that all things have their time and there is a time for everything ranging from a time to weep to a time to laugh. I sure have experienced times of both. Ecclesiastes 3 also promises that God makes everything beautiful in its time. That doesn’t mean in our time, but His, which can feel frustrating when our timelines for our lives differ from God's.
The season of life we're in now is one we will never get back. He has us where we’re at so we can love, serve, and reach those around us. Every person is given special gifts from God. In different times of life were able to use those gifts in different ways. I might look at others and think "If only I were ___ then I could be doing ___." But where we're at and what God has gifted each of us is different for a reason. For example, because I’m still in school I have the ability to serve in ways I couldn’t if I were working a 9-5. Additionally, people who are working a 9-5 and are out of school can serve in ways I cannot. There are gifts and times for every season and when I compare my situation to others, I lose track of where God has called me to be. I focus on others and myself rather than on Jesus.
In Matthew 14, Peter was walking on water toward Jesus and when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, that’s when he started to sink. Similarly, when I take my eyes off Jesus and place them on those around me I start to drown in comparison, anxiety, worry, and even jealousy. I start to feel like I'm behind in life and need to catch up. But when I look at Jesus I’m able to walk freely toward Him with purpose, security, and peace. And that is where He wants me to be.
There are always going to be things we think we should have attained, goals we should have reached, and stages of life we feel we should have walked through, but don’t have to force our agenda. Nowhere in the Bible does God say that we need to have achieved certain things by a certain age or time. Those are worldly standards that we're trying to live up to. Standards that if we place worth in will cause us to feel like we're drowning. Some are set by ourselves and some are set by others that we feel the pressure to live up to. But those timelines are not from The Lord. He is the one sovereign over our lives and frees us from living for the approval of others and our worth is not based on a timeline of achievement set by society. Just like how He created each person uniquely, so He created our lives and the paths we take. No two people are the same nor are the journeys we take in which Jesus leads us.
So, my friends, I pray that if you’re walking through a season of life riddled with anxiety feeling that you're behind or not where you thought you would be, that you are comforted by knowing that God is in control. His ways are not our ways and that's a good thing.
I pray we can all surrender control of our lives and what we thought we should have and find joy and purpose in what we do. That we can rest in the truth and promises of the Word today knowing all things are made beautiful through Christ in its perfect time. I'm so thankful God's timeline and plans were different than 4th grade Sydney's. Although I thought I knew what was best for me, God has shown me repeatedly that His ways and times are always better than my own. Even in seasons of waiting, we can still be running the race for His glory. God loves us and we can trust Him with our everything. If God has never failed us, why would He start now? God is sovereign over all things, including our timelines, and I cannot wait to see where He continues to lead us on this exciting journey of life
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”